Trav's Random Thoughts

2010-11-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

http://phillip-young.com/to.php

Way to be classy, Fox News.

2009-04-13T11:29:00.001-07:00

Dear Glenn Beck: Please die already.

Hey Utah Republicans...you might wanna see this

2009-02-27T23:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680-porn-in-the-usa-conservatives-are-biggest-consumers.html?DCMP=OTC-rss

Vegas - Day 1

2009-02-18T20:14:00.001-08:00

Well, day 1 didn't really involve Vegas. Paul and I hit the road around noon. After a very lengthy detour in Lehi to get to Wendy's (those guys are bastards): and may I interrupt this blog to talk about this for a moment? Ya know how you're cruising down the freeway and you see the different signs advising you of what Gas, Hotel, and Food options you have at the next exit? Well, the Lehi exit advertises a Wendy's! So we took the exit.....and saw a sign that said we had to turn left to get to Wendy's.

....................10 f**king miles later, we finally arrive at the Goddamned Wendy's. And the pimply faced kid at the window couldn't tell us how to get back to the freeway...he didn't even know what direction it was. Dumbass.

Okay...we got food, detour wasn't tragic....at this point we pretty much bee-lined it to Mesquite, Nevada and the Casa Blanca hotel/casino.

After a stop at the local Wal-Mart for windshield wipers, case of Red Bull, and a bag of pizza-flavored Combo snacks, we got our drink on and settled in. Our goal was to stay here the first night....cheaper rooms, cheaper drinks, and cheaper gambling.

Everything about our stay was true except cheaper gambling. I literally hemorrhaged cash on slot machines. I was so bummed. I had this fantasy of winning some moderate jackpot in Mesquite that would pay for my Vegas hotel room and my concert tickets..which were a total of.....well, I'm just not ready to discuss that. But yeah...recovering those costs wasn't happening. $300 later, I decided to stop gambling.

Highlight of the night - Mind you, this was Valentine's Day....at the buffet that night, we witnessed a couple who had just got married walk into the buffet with several of their wedding guests. Yep....wedding and a buffet at the Casa Blanca Casino in Mesquite....kickass.

Next up....Day 2

Going to Vegas to meet Maynard

2009-02-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows I'm a huge fan of Maynard James Keenan, lead singer of Tool. Currently he is working on a solo project known as Puscifer....Maynard is playing his first Puscifer shows this weekend in Vegas. I pondered going, but nobody was interested. Last weekend, they released some really sweet front row tickets - I got the email about it while I was sitting at my computer and I could've had some front row seats!!! But again....I chickened out.

Well, last night, I got the following email from the Puscifer mailing list:

Just announced! A very limited number (and we can't underscore enough how limited and rare these tickets are) of VIP tickets to this weekend's Puscifer shows in Las Vegas. The shows are Feb. 13, 14 and 15 at The Pearl in The Palms Casino.

Each VIP ticket entitles the holder to:

* Premium seat
* Signed bottle of wine
* Meet and greet before show (with the entire Puscifer collective, including Maynard)
* Signed commemorative poster

They had me at "Meet". I couldn't hold back any longer. I bought two tickets without even knowing who I'd invite, where I'd stay, how I'd get there, etc..

Turns out I got pretty good seats as you can see in this seating chart of the Pearl theater at the Palms Casino:

Plane Crash Reports

2009-02-04T09:52:00.001-08:00

For those of you who recall, our river rafting group came across a plane crash during our trip last year - see this blog entry here - http://travisaurus.blogspot.com/2008/07/real-river-trip-blog.html

The FAA finally released their reports on the plane wreck, but in a nutshell, they blame the pilot for poor decision making which the pilot himself admitted:

Probable cause statement - http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/GenPDF.asp?id=SEA08LA160&rpt=fi

Full Factual Report - http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/GenPDF.asp?id=SEA08LA160&rpt=fa

Another awesome news story.....

2009-02-03T15:08:00.000-08:00

I didn't read the whole story; I simply couldn't get past her quote in the first paragraph.

It's not news...it's CNN.

2009-02-03T14:55:00.001-08:00

This is great news I suppose, but nothing I really wanted to see on the front page at CNN.com - Even worse, it got me thinking....what're they gonna do if they need to remove a kidney from a man??? Yikes.

Getting sick is expensive...

2009-01-07T18:22:00.001-08:00

So...I had to go the ER recently. My stomach hurt and I hadn't, um...you know...poo'd for several days. I thought I was just constipated but even a near overdose of laxatives had no effect.

So after being convinced to go to the ER (by my ex-GF Lisa who for some reason still cares about me not dying), I headed down for the 3 hour wait in the waiting room.

Well, after the 3-hour wait in the waiting room, then another 3 hours in the actual ER, it turns out I had diverticulitis; a diagnosis which apparently costs around $5,300.

It gets broken down like this:

1. Facility charge - $970 - I guess this is the charge for just walking in the door and sitting in a waiting room for 3 hours.

2. Facility charge - $496 - Not sure why there's a second facility charge, but I'm guessing this was a disguised charge for the doctor sticking his finger up my butt to check for a blockage...because I don't see that anywhere else on the bill.

3. Body CT Scan (Abdomen) - $1,873 - Yep, that's what it costs to lie in a metal tube while a guy with an Indian accent says "You must remain very still, thank you"

4. Body CT Scan (Pelvic) - $1,647 - Apparently, the Pelvic scan is cheaper than the Abdomen scan...or maybe I was there during hour when all pelvic scans are 10% off.

5. Chem Lab - $129 - I don't remember taking this class during my visit.

6. IV Solution - $94 - Rumor has it that they were out of the I, II, and III solutions.

7. Lab - $79 - I never saw the lab, but that's okay because I have friends who own labs (Hi, Andy and Bear and Bradley and Deuce!!)

8. Pharmacy - $76 - I left the hospital with two prescriptions...no actual drugs...just the prescription paperwork. It costs $76 to generate this paperwork.

All I can say is thank god for insurance. My share of the bill is only $100. Let's hope my coverage is this good when I get a colonoscopy in March.

:)

I'm moving!!!

2008-12-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, well, I'm not really moving...my office is! This is very good news for two different reasons:

1. We're moving closer to Salt Lake. We're currently in Prospector Square area of Park City which is about a 35-minute commute each way every day. The new location is closer to Jeremy Ranch. This will shave off about 10-15 minutes EACH way. Woohoo!!

2. It shows that the company is making long term investments into the Park City office which is a good sign during these rough times.

The only bad part...the move doesn't occur until April so I'll have to stick out the winter season, the tourists, the traffic jams, the Sundancers, etc..

Email from Duncan (plane wreck survivor)

2008-11-27T18:30:00.000-08:00

This totally made my day. A really nice email from Duncan Bridewell; he and his brother John were the plane wreck victims we came upon during the Green River rafting trip this summer. Following is his Thanksgiving day update:

Hey, on this day of thanksgiving, just wanted to say you folks and any rafters whose e-mails I don't have are at the top of our thanksgiving list. I am doing fine, walking around the block most days. I left the crutch at home when Becky and I went over to the big island of Hawaii and Kauai for three weeks in October and November. I didn't play golf in Hawaii, but plan to hit the driving range sometime next week and see what happens. I still wear an "old man's stocking" when the ankle is talking to me, and progress is slow. But I have definitely learned the meaning of the word "patience", and this week the local orthopod said he doesn't need to see me anymore.

John still has the numbness issue in the bottom of his foot and one side of his ankle, but he has an appointment with the neuro doc at Mayo Clinic on Dec. 2. We are very hopeful that Mayo can find out what nerve isn't doing what it's supposed to be doing and get him some feeling. He has been totally weight off the right leg since the accident and uses a scooter to get around the UND campus to teach and get to appointments. His attitude is still great, and he has Renae, kids and grandkids around to keep him upbeat.

I personally really feel blessed that you folks showed up in a timely manner and somehow knew exactly what to do. There you are relaxing, having a big old time, and then you run into the Bridewell brothers. We are here today doing as well as we are strictly because of you and your quick response.

This has become increasingly clear to both of us as my wife Becky's brother has been in the hospital since late July, dealing with a triple bypass and subsequent complications. He's only 4-1/2 years older than me, and ironically had his leg amputated above the knee two weeks ago tomorrow because of a (lack of) circulation issue. So our feeling of gratefulness to all of you has become even greater over the past few months, hearing about what Becky's brother has been going through.

I've rambled enough. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, eat lots of great food, and enjoy the company of family and friends!

Beer is GOOD for you

2008-11-26T08:23:00.000-08:00

From the good folks at Eatingwell.com

http://www.eatingwell.com/eat_drink/drink/boons_beer.html

The Boons of Beer

At Oktoberfest celebrations, people around the world raise their mugs to the beauty of beer. Meanwhile, there seems to be an appreciation brewing for lagers and the like in clinical laboratories too.

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
—Dave Barry

COLD ONES FOR HOT FLASHES?
Scientists at the Research Institute of Brewing and Malting in Prague recently announced that they’ve created a new non-alcoholic beer that may reduce hot flashes in menopausal women. It’s long been known hops naturally contain low levels of the same plant estrogens found in soy; the Czech researchers used new technology to boost the concentration (to ten times that of some lagers).

HOP, HOP HOORAY!
Researchers at Oregon State University in Corvallis have reported that xanthohumol, an antioxidant in hops, may thwart the growth of prostate cancer by triggering the rampant cells to self-destruct. Unfortunately, the dose used in the study equals 17 beers (please don’t try that at home). Upshot: The findings may lead to the development of a hops-derived pharmaceutical treatment.

SOOTHING BREWS
An Austrian study published in 2006 suggests that antioxidants in hops, called humulones, may help to soothe chronic inflammation that is the result of an immune system in overdrive. In recent years, scientists have linked inflammation with a variety of chronic ills, including cardiovascular disease, Alzheimer’s and arthritis.

MALT MYTHS
Dark-colored beers don’t contain more antioxidants than light-colored brews. A deeper hue just means that the malt (sugars extracted from the grain) has been roasted longer.

HEARTY ALES
Wine snags a lot of credit for its heart-healthy effects; truth is, moderate consumption of beer provides the same benefits.
Research suggests that it’s the alcohol itself that lowers cardiovascular risk (by reducing inflammation, “thinning” the blood and improving insulin sensitivity).

A BEER FOR THE BONES
In a Tufts University study of 2,900 men and women, people who drank a beer or two a day had higher bone-mineral densities than nondrinkers. Scientists say silicon, a mineral in beer that promotes healthy bones, may be to thank.

20 PERCENT
...of people in a University of California, Davis, study who said they knew that beer, like wine, contains antioxidants. It’s true. Beer also contains some B vitamins and certain varieties even have a bit of soluble fiber, which has been linked with reduced cholesterol.

What I bought at Costco....

2008-11-24T17:42:00.001-08:00

I haven't blogged for a bit. I'm sorry. I was gonna blog about a story at HuffingtonPost.com called "10 Republicans Who Should Go Away" but I should probably refrain from that.

Instead, here's something neutral we can all enjoy; my shopping list at Costco (for those of you don't know what Costco is, it's like a Sam's Club):

Veggie Patties - these things are good and somewhat not bad for you.

Oatmeal - 55-pack of Quaker instant oatmeal servings.

Froz Veggies - Large bag of 'Normandy' veggies, aka squash, carrots, broccoli.

Tri Tip - 2 lovely tri-tip roasts....on clue how I'll cook them, I'm accepting recipes.

Frozen Thighs - Sounds like a bad ex-girlfriend, but it's really just chicken.

Head & Shoulders - Yes, the 46-ounce size of dandruff-fighting shampoo. Unfortunately, they don't sell T-Gel in 5-gallon buckets because that seems to be the only thing that helps.

Slippers - Impulse buy! I've been wanting new slippers...and at $21.99, I couldn't turn down the Kirkland leather suede with lamb's wool lining slippers. I'm wearing them right now...and it's all I'm wearing. hubba hubba.

Floor Mats - Another impulse buy! I've been wanting some heavy duty rubber mats for my new car and I couldn't pass up a whole set for kjust 18.99.

And with that, I will now go install my new rubber floor mats, then watch Monday Night Football.

Salt Lake County just got a little more hip.

2008-11-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

From - http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=4838702

Final tally: Obama wins Salt Lake County

November 19th, 2008 @ 8:50am

By Andrew Adams

(AP Photo/Jae C. Hong, FILE)

Updated vote tallies show that President-elect Barack Obama beat Republican John McCain in Salt Lake County by 296 votes, less than one-tenth of a percent.

The result came Tuesday after more than 29,000 provisional and late-arriving absentee ballots were counted as part of the county's official election canvass.

Obama had trailed McCain by about 1,900 votes before the provisional and absentee ballots were counted.

Democrats are hailing it as a big win in this red state. It had been decades since a Democrat claimed Salt Lake County in a presidential election. President Bush won the county by more than 20 percentage points in the last two elections.

University of Utah political science professor Tim Chambless explained, "What we are seeing is the rise in the Democratic party, therefore the return of Utah to be a two-party state and therefore more political competition."

He says Utah followed the trend seen in neighboring swing states of Nevada, New Mexico and Colorado this year.

In Utah, Obama also won Summit County, home to Park City, and Grand County, home to Moab. But McCain easily won the state's five electoral votes.

The Salt Lake County Republican Party chair is responding basically by saying Republicans faced "considerable headwinds" this election year, and they'll be back.

E-mail: aadams@ksl.com

(The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

Mice continue assault....

2008-11-18T21:44:00.000-08:00

Caught a mouse in one of my traps the other night. So I set another one, only to find it sans bait and tripped! How the HELL did that happen?

Regardles...the bacon/smoked cheddar cheeseball appears to be a good choice of bait. Mmmmmmm.

Mice suffer crushing defeat in early season sneak-attack

2008-10-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Mice like my house because it's 60 years old. Typically, in the late fall, I'll hear them crawling through the crawl space between the basement and main floor...then I'll set a few traps, snag 4-6 of them and BAM, it's over for the season.

But this year, the mice got cocky; they sent a suicide mouser to taunt me and let me know they were ready for battle.

I had a really shitty day today. When I got home, I just wanted to have a few drinks, eat some comfort food, and watch a movie.

10 minutes into my movie, something catches my eye....it's a freaking mouse crawling across my window sill like he owns the joint. He sees me looking at him and promptly crawls UP into the wood blinds.

I frantically stand up, yelling for my cat, "Sylvester, where the f**k are you?!!". I run downstairs to find him passed out in my underwear drawer (as usual). I pick him up bring him upstairs, set him in front of the wood blinds, and start poking at the blinds, waiting for a mouse to fall out for him to capture and devour...NOTHIN. Mouse has disappeared.

At this point, I'm freaked out...so I rush to Home Depot to pick up my seasonal arsenal...

So I get home, unpack my new weapons of mouse destruction...hehe, I just made that up, "mouse destruction"...kinda sounds like mass destruction, ya know? Ok, nevermind.

Aaaaaaaaanyhooo.....I go to find Sylvester assuming he's passed out again in my underwear drawer, but he's actually made himself useful while I'm gone because I find him actively clawing under the closet door in my office..which is in the vicinity of the last mouse sighting.

I open the door and let Sylvester in....he's got his radar on something for sure. He's in "the zone" and something has really got his attention. Here's a pic...

Okay.....IT IS ON!!! I begin removing stuff from the closet. I remove the computer, nothin'. I remove the top monitor, nothin'. I remove the bottom monitor and BAM a little brown body goes flyin' across the floor and into the living room.

Sylvester, being the retard that he is, doesn't see the mouse run away so he thinks it's still in the office. So I pick him up and bring him into the living room. I place him next to the couches where I think the mouse is....I overturn the mouse and BINGO, there he is...he quickly scampers underneath the OTHER couch.

Of course, Sylvester thinks the mouse went back to the closet where we originally discovered him....so he becomes NO use to me at this point.

So I tip over the other couch and there he is...he scampers back underneath the other couch...I try to stomp him in during his unprotected dash but to no avail. This goes on for about 3 cycles...tip over a couch "A", he runs under couch "B". Tip over couch "B", he runs back to couch "A". At this point, I go nuts and I'm flipping couches like U.S.A. Men's Hockey team in the 1988 Olympics. Here's a pic...

FINALLY, I flip over a couch, see the little bugger running and get a piece of him as he's running across the air intake grate of my furnace.

GAME OVER, MAN!!!!!

I'm sorry...I had to do it, folks. My house is not a home for mice. I've done everything I can to keep them out. I don't' know how they get in.....BUT THEY WILL NEVER GET OUT!!!!

Lifesaving chest compressions near-perfect when done to disco hit

2008-10-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to come across someone having a heart attack so that I can sing this song while trying to save them....

Link:
Lifesaving chest compressions near-perfect when done to disco hit: "

The poor kittens....

2008-10-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

REMEMBER - Everytime you vote Republican,
Bush eats a kitten.

Please, think of the kittens!!!

Honey Hits the Road!

2008-10-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

This morning, my grandmother (Honey) and my uncle Tom hit the road in their Budget rental truck for a 3-day road trip from Tullahoma, TN to Salt Lake, UT.

They should arrive Friday afternoon and we'll officially get her moved in Saturday morning. So if you're around, you should come help us move her! I'm sure you'll get a free Wild Turkey and Coke out of the deal....and maybe some cornbread or some fried okra or some green rice casserole!

Here's a great pic of my mom and Honey.....

For Mom.....

2008-09-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Mom - I'm on cholesterol medication now. You can stop nagging me.

And thanks for nagging me...my LDL is 185.

OUCH!

Seriously....thanks.

Love,
Trav

The cycle of employment....

2008-09-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I worked at PTC with Peter and Nick. Then we all got laid off, more or less.

Then I ended up at FedEx Kinko's as an FTC (Field Tech Consultant).

Then I quit that job and ended up at EMC with Peter and Nick again.

Yesterday all the FTC's at FedEx Kinko's got laid off.

'Guess I'll stop wondering whether leaving FedEx Kinko's was the "right thing" to do.

:)

Politics

2008-09-27T13:49:00.001-07:00

Why some people shouldn't have kids....

2008-09-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

I finally found something inspiring to blog about. A headline I just read at KSL.COM states:

"Boy injured while car surfing"My first thought is a bunch of teenagers screw screwing around with mom's car. But noooo. Let me give you the highlights along with my commentary:

"A 10-year-old boy who fell from his mother's car while car surfing" Ok, it happens

Police quote: "His mother....told me she has let her kids ride like this before and never thought anything like this would happen. " Whoa, what the f**k?

"Apparently mom thought that was OK". Apparently mom is a retard.

"They held onto the side- view mirrors and inside handles as she drove a lap around a mobile home park " Where is Jeff Foxworthy? I feel like a 'you might be a redneck' joke coming on.

"the victim's mother said she never saw her son fall or let go." I guess she was too busy smoking a cigarette, texting on her phone and painting her nails at the time.

Quote from police "He impacted his head on the cement. He has some critical injuries." Falling of a moving car onto pavement will do that.

The boy's mother said, "I was really stupid in what I did," and, "we're lucky, we're so lucky right now." Okay, first part of quote says you realize what you did. Second part of the quote, excuse me? Uhhh..did you see the police quote?

The boy's mother says no parent should allow their child to do anything like this. Oh my god, a revelation!!! All is forgiven, let's just forget about this whole incident.

Full story is here - http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=4357505

I've fallen behind...and I can't catch up!!

2008-08-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

Brian reminded me that I haven't blogged in awhile. So, here's everything in a nutshell...

BEER stuff - gotta batch that needs bottling and a batch that needs brewing. If anyone wants to help with either one, give me a holla.

HIGH school reunion - is this weekend. I decided not to go to the Saturday night pricey event, but instead will attend the Friday night no-cost gathering at Skyline. BFF Brian and I will be having a few cocktails beforehand.

GEORGIA - just returned last night! As always a good time, hanging out with family. Promptly after my arrival, my stepmom's mother passed away; but the coincidental timing turned out well as I was able to hang out with my dad and take him to rehab/doctor appointment while Ginger dealt with funeral arrangements, etc.. Also got to meet (or get reacquainted with) several family members from Ginger's side of the family. I even went to Church on Sunday...actual real live church.

HONEY - (my grandmother) is moving to Utah!! She arrives August 24th to start looking for an apartment at an active living community. My Uncle Tom and I will be going to her place in Tullahoma TN to load up a moving truck with her belongings and driving it across the country to Utah. That'll be a cool trip.

PHOTOS - I have all sorts of photos I need to put on Smugmug...I'll be working on that soon.

Trees....

2008-07-27T19:17:00.001-07:00

I love trees...but not when they're dead and in my backyard. So a trip to Home Depot and $40 later, I had me a chainsaw for 4 hours and I turned this...

Into this:

New dating website!!

2008-07-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

The REAL river trip blog....

2008-07-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, the river-related blogs while I was gone were fake! haha. I sent up some fake blogs and had blogspot release them while I was on the river. I'm such a jerk!

Anyway, the river trip was fantastic....the highlight was coming across plane wreck victims who had survived a plane crash in Desolation canyon followed by a huge brush fire. A group of rafters pulled them out of the wreckage and on to their boats. They waved us down asking if we had any medical training.....luckily we had an EMT and a Wilderness First Responder with us and they both were packing good first aid kits. They jumped on the boats and triage'd the victims for about an hour.

In this photo, you can see Kim and Myke helping our victims while flames shooting up from near the crash site

Realizing we couldn't camp where we were at, we floated the victims down the river to the nearest spot to camp in. We all volunteered pieces of gear (tents, pads, clothing) to shelter our victims for the night while we figured out what to do next. We were in the middle of nowhere. No cellphone coverage, nothin'.

Under the assumption that the smoke would attract someone's attention, we set up a huge "SOS" on the beach, made out of life jackets and anything colorful we could find. Overnight, Kim took good care of our patients and kept them as comfortable as possible.

The next morning we tried to flag down every damn plane and helicopter that flew by, not knowing if they were just passing over or if they were looking at the fire or whatever. But we were having zero luck at that. What we really needed was a satellite phone...the only phone that works anywhere in the world.

Another rafting group came down the river and we yelled at them "Do you have a satellite phone?" and the answer was "YES WE DO". Our campsite of doom and gloom turned into an instant party. After 15 minutes of trying to figure out how the phone worked, we finally were able to make a few calls to the BLM (and even Shannon's mom) and finally got in touch with the U of U Airmed station. We gave them our GPS coordinates and they told us they were dispatching two choppers to us.

Once the choppers left the helipad, they were on-site in 47 minutes flat....a trip which took us 3 hours in a car, plus 2 days floating down the river.

Unfortunately the choppers were unable to land at our campsite, so they ended up landing about 1/4 mile away. We carried each victim on a backboard to each of the 2 waiting choppers. Here you can see one of them being loaded. The pilot on the left was promptly nicknamed "Captain McDreamy" by the females, while I thought a better nickname was "Captain Cologne". I feel sorry for everyone that has to fly around in those helicopters with him. haha. Okay, I really shouldn't be making fun of people who risk their lives and fly into a dangerous canyon to rescue plane wreck victims. Here's to you, Captain McDreamy.

Shortly after the choppers took off, we packed up and set sail back on the river...and the timing could have not been better...the fire had reached the river across from us and there was a real possibility that burning embers could float across and set our camp on fire.....that would not have been good if we still had our patients with us!!

I can't get enough of your love....

2008-07-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

....is a great song by Bad Company, but not when it's blaring out my home stereo at 5:30am in the morning.

It seems my cat Sylvester jumped up on my desk this morning to look out the window at something. I'm guessing he must have accidentally stepped on the "play" button on my multi-media keyboard because my dead sleep was rudely awakenend by "I can't get enough...enough your love!! I love you so much, I can't get enough of your love!!!!" And it's not that it's just playing out of my computer. I have a WiFi connection that transmits any iTunes songs to my home stereo....not cool.

So I crawl out of bed, walk up stairs and turn off the music, hoping that neighbors either didn't hear me rockin' out or see me in my underwear running through the living room diving for the volume button on the stereo.

On my way back to bed, the cat is now sitting in front of his food bowl and looking at me as if to say "So, um yeah...as long as you're up....."

Accidentally stepped on the keyboard? Makes me wonder.

That's a BAD kitty!!

2nd chance

2008-06-30T21:42:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite photos from this year's Utah Arts Festival.....one of the artists (a photographer) had discovered this baby bird behind his booth. Apparently, it fell from its nest or got booted out by mama bird. He spent a couple of days caring for it, giving it water from a straw (which it eagerly drank), and letting it sit in a make shift nest he had for it.

He had made arrangements to give the bird to a local wildlife rehab organization. Best of luck to the bird, and good karma for his rescuer.

Fashion Alert....

2008-06-22T10:42:00.001-07:00

Straw hat, $1
Obnoxious shirt, $2
Going to a party wearing clothes you bought at a yard sale...priceless.

Battleship Beer Blog!

2008-06-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

Another batch in the bucket! Hazelnut brown ale has been fermenting for several days now.

Let's recap on all the batches I've done so far....

1. Black Pussy Amber -6-pack left which will go into long term storage
2. American Pale Ale - 4x22oz bottles left for long term storage
3. Buster Cherry Ale - over a case left...still drinking
4. Cream Style Ale (un-named) - waiting to be bottled
5. Hazelnut Brown Ale (un-named) - finishing up primary fermentation
6. Mexican style cerveza (un-named) - still in the box, needs to be 'created'

Back to Hazelnut brown ale; Beer Babe Kim once again was on hand to assist, this time bringing over her Battleship game help pass the time. I won't gloat about how much I kicked ass, but I will give Kim kudos on this clever little layout below. Her game is on the left. I think she was trying to say something to me....
Tonight I spent most of the evening washing beer bottles that my friend Charlene has been collecting. Currently, I have the equivalent of about 6 cases of bottles and I'm still collecting.

Power Outage At Work,YAY! .............NOT

2008-06-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, I was at work.....and there was a power outage...and and all the lights went out. I was sitting there thinking "uh oh, this is not good...this is really not good...this is really really not good at all."

Yep...I was just sitting there...but I wasn't sitting at my desk. I was sitting in another room. A type of room where one does not want to be sitting when the goddam lights go out!! GAAAHH!!!

Thank god for the generous amounts of light given off by my Treo. It got me out of a really crappy situation.

Thanks, Treo

p.s...if you're still scratching your head...I was in the bathroom. ;)

Beer Update 060408

2008-06-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

I have been remiss in my beer updates.

So the American Pale Ale was bottled about 3 weeks ago and I've already sampled several bottles. It is delicious! See photo:

Cherry Pale Ale was bottled last night - Kim and I seemed to think that it smelled more like cherry than it did when we did a gravity reading on it last week. Last week, it smelled more like grapefruit. FYI, this batch has been officially titled BCA (Buster Cherry Ale), named after my good friend Buster of course.

Cream Style Ale was cooked last week and will probably go into the bottle sometime next week. This one should be interesting.

And I'm running out of beer bottles. I'm brewing too much beer! Big props to my buddy Charlene and her BF Nate for saving bottles. They have been principal sponsors of the bottle collection. Here's a pic of their bottles taking a nice relaxing bath recently:

Stimulation and Vandalation

2008-05-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, vandalation is now a word, please make a note of it...it's a word because it rhymes with stimulation and it made the title of my blog sound cool.

Stimulation - I finally got my stimulation check today. Ironically, also in my mailbox today was a letter from the government informing me that my check should be arriving soon....and what do you know, not even TWO seconds go by when I reach down and pick up the envelope with the check in it. Damn, our government rocks. Good to see our taxpayer dollars hard at work.

Vandalation - Over the holiday weekend, my fence got "tagged". Who the hell tags an unpainted wood fence?? Isn't that a violation of the Tagger's Creed or something? Apparently, there's an anti-graffiti "Team" that Salt Lake City employs to discard of all graffiti. I called them on Sunday (Holiday weekend) and left a voicemail. Got home today and the graffiti is GONE. I have to admit,I'm damn impressed. I fretted (yes, FRETTED) about how one would remove spray paint from an unpainted wood fence, but somehow they did it. The fence is a littler lighter in a couple of places, but hell it sure beats what I envisoned they'd do to it in the process of removing the graffiti.

Gee, can ya tell which two parts of my fence got sandblasted today?

But seriously, thanks graffiti removal team people!

Top 10 Beer Names!

2008-05-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from an article that was recently printed in "The St. Petersburg Times" in Tampa, Fla, a collection of the top 10 beer names. Believe it or not, a Utah beer is #1 and I have a bottle of it in my fridge.

Full article here: http://www.tampabay.com/features/food/spirits/article503293.ece

10. Unibroue La Fin Du Monde How can you not love a beer that calls itself "End of the World?" Fortunately, the only thing that will end after enjoying this complex brew is your ability to make do with just any beer.

9. Harveistoun Old Engine Oil Mega-breweries spend millions of dollars on image building, cultivating a look, image and an enticing name that's not distasteful. Then there's the Harviestoun brewery in Scotland that simply looked at its tasty old ale and named it after the first thing that came to mind: Old Engine Oil.

8. Sweetwater Happy Ending Imperial Stout The name refers either to living happily ever after or the beer's great finish. It has nothing to do with massage parlors. Would a brewery that also has beers named Donkey Punch and 420 go there? I think not.

7. Ridgeway Santa's Butt A butt is a wooden keg of beer. The picture on the bottle of jolly St. Nick's butt crack peeking out from his baggy pantaloons ensures no one misses the double entendre. It has the distinction of having been banned in Maine and New York.

6. Buffalo Bill's Alimony Ale Billed as "the bitterest beer in America," this India Pale Ale is clearly the brainchild of someone disenchanted with the notion of till death do us part.

5. Dogfish Head Golden Shower Originally named Prescription Pills, the brewery was forced to change the name, lest someone think it was a pharmaceutical. Golden Shower saw one release before the government folks figured out what they'd approved. The beer is now known as Golden Era.

4. Mikkeller Beer Geek Breakfast Pooh Coffee The coffee added to the beer is pooped out by a civet (a catlike mammal that loves coffee). A bit literal? Yes. But still funny.

3. McQuire's I'll Have What The Gentleman On The Floor Is Having Barley Wine The name is a subtle hint that at 12 percent alcohol by volume, this beer is meant to be sipped. If you can drink it faster than you can say it, slow down!

2. Avery Collaboration Not Litigation This beer typifies the spirit of the craft brewing community. Vinnie Cilurzo of Russia River Brewing and Adam Avery of Avery Brewing realized they both had beers named Salvation. Showing a selfish disregard for the financial health of America's lawyers, the two brewers decided that instead of suing each other, they'd team up to brew this bold beer.

1. Wasatch Polygamy Porter The slogan explains perfectly why this is the coolest beer name ever: "Why have just one?" I have big love for this beer's name.

It's easy to understand why....

2008-05-18T20:37:00.001-07:00

...my cat is cuter than yours. Just look at him chillin' on the flagstone in my backyard. It's the first time he's ever jumped up on that rock. He chilled out there for quite a bit; long enough for me to snap several super cute photos of him.

http://travisaurus.smugmug.com/gallery/29187_2PcwC#297552125_hR5WV

Hot stimulating action....

2008-05-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

....meaning that I stimulated the economy today as was told to do so by our overlord, Dubya.

I did my part by spending $110 today on "beer stuff" as part of my mandatory $600 contribution to the economy. I got two recipe kits and a carboy so that I can have two batches brewing at a time. The recipe kits consisted of Cherry Ale and Cream Style Ale.

I plan to make the cherry ale very soon...and I just got a text from faithful (and super hot) assistant Kim and it looks like she's available tomorrow night so......IT IS ON!!

As for the remaining $450 of my stimulus check, I think I'll send it off to my next president, Obama....because I know he'll spend it wisely.

Beer Blog - 050608

2008-05-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

After the 'scary beer' experience mentioned in the last blog, I was scared to death to rack it this evening. But to my surprise, it looked and smelled great!

Special thanks to the folks at the Beer Nut for basically telling me "Dude...chill, it's cool. Just shake the bucket and check it again in a week."

Cider update good. Beer update questionable

2008-04-29T21:44:00.001-07:00

Several days after my most recent batch of beer stopped fermenting, I opened it up to do a gravity reading and it didn't look so good...lots of floaties. You can see in the picture above what it looked like.

In a panic, I sent the photo off to the folks at the Beernut expressing my distress. They told me not to panic. They said to give the bucket a good shake and let it sit for a few more days...the floaties are probably yeast.

On another note, I was at the Ellison's tonight to do a gravity reading of their cider and rack it to another container. The cider didn't have much of an odor and it tasted pretty dry...which is actually what we're going for! What shocked me was the gravity reading. OG was 1.053 and FG was 1.002. I was expecting a FG of 1.013 or so. Once again, I was panicking. Turns out this is a pretty normal gravity change for cider recipes.

Based on some on-line calculators, the cider should end up around 6.7% alcohol. Ahh yeaaaaah.

More beer...and cider

2008-04-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

Without my first batch even being done, I just cooked up a 2nd batch (American Pale Ale) on Sunday night with my trusty brewing assistant Kim (who I am pretty sure is now aspiring to become a brewer herself). That now makes 10 gallons of beer that I currently have in process.

I did take some of my first batch to a party Saturday night and shared it with friends. It was a little sweet and not fizzy enough...which is an expected and classic indication that the beer needs more time in the bottle. The sugars will continue to turn into carbonation and the beer becomes less sweet; nonetheless, it tasted great and everyone gave their compliments. WOOHOO!!

That same night, I also assisted Brian/Nicole in whipping up a batch of 'hard cider'. We're doing a very basic recipe. Nicole reports that fermentation is well under way!

So that's 15 gallons of homemade alcohol I have now contributed to the planet. SWEET.

Beer Blog 040108 - Batch #2 & special Cider Batch

2008-04-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

Now that BPA is bottled and aging, all of my equipment is available for Batch #2 which has yet to be named (I'm taking suggestions). I'll be doing a good ol' American Pale Ale courtesy of the Beer Nut again.

This weekend, I'll also be helping Brian/Nicole whip up a 5-gallon batch of hard cider; a very easy thing to do. In fact, it's so easy, I can't believe I wasn't doing this shit in high school. A gallon apple juice, some sugar, some yeast, 2-3 weeks, and then BAM!

Back to Batch #2 - I'll be cooking it up this Sunday night if anyone is interested. Please inquire if interested in attending.

Beer Blog 040608 - BPA is bottled!!!!

2008-04-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the night. The beer was ready for bottling. With assistance from my BFF Kim, we manged to bottle 11 22oz bottles and 26 12oz bottles which is pretty close to what I expected. We mixed in some additional sugar to kick off the secondary fermentation which creates the carbonation.

I have officially named my first batch of beer "BPA" and I have written that on the top of every bottle cap with a red Sharpie. I was inspired by another BFF Nicole when she submitted a list of "cat themed" beer names. Her inspiration led me to come up with a name that was also inspired by my sweet cat, Sylvester.

Anyway, if you want to know the name of my beer, ask me separately. I have family members who read this blog and they may not approve of the name so I'll have to come up with something else when they call me on the phone and say "So um, what's BPA stand for?" and I'll probably say something like "It stands for 'Bitchin Premium Amber' or 'Big Potent Amber' ". For some reason, I just don't think that "Black Pussy Amber" will go over well with them.

So let's just keep that a secret, ok?

Puzzling

2008-04-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

While flying home today, I was doing the crossword from Sunday's "Knoxville Tennessee" newspaper. I just about spilled my cocktail when I came to 57 down....

Funeral Beer

2008-03-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have to fly to Nashville next week to attend my grandfather's funeral. And my sink is still clogged. Both unfortunate events will further prolong bottling, but that's okay....I was prepared for this. I have re-racked the beer into a glass carboy. By putting the beer in a new container, separated from the old container with all the yeast at the bottom, the beer can sit for months before bottling without any worry of fouling up the beer.

Me and Thurl Bailey = BFF's!!!

2008-03-27T15:10:00.001-07:00

So.....this showed up on my Facebook account today. Apparently he wants to be best buddies with me.

I did meet him once when I was stage managing at the Park City Jazz Festival; he sang with one of the groups. Nice guy, really friendly, polite, etc..

But for some reason, I can't see him surfing Facebook and saying "OMG! There's that stage dude I met at the Jazz Festival. Kickass!!"

Besides.....we have no friends in common!!

Beer bottling night!! ...............................not

2008-03-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

I invited over some friends for beer bottling last night.

So I get home and start cleaning up the kitchen...rinse off a few plates, load up the dishwasher, start soaking some used beer bottles that need to be cleaned, etc.. As I'm washing bottles and as the dishwasher is going, I notice my sink is draining slowly.

NEXT thing you know there is water pouring onto my kitchen floor. This is obviously due to the fact that I have some sort of clog in my kitchen sink drain and the dishwasher drains into that same pipe...so no draining means the water comes out of the dishwasher via the kitchen floor.

It's cool....shit happens....I am NOT panicking...I turn off the dishwasher, throw a couple of towels on the floor and soak up the water.

As I'm standing there trying to figure out what else I need to do to prepare for my beer bottling 'party', I hear a very disturbing sound....it's the sound of rain...except it's not occurring outside, it's occurring in my laundry room which is downstairs underneath the kitchen....SHIT.

I run down there and there is a waterfall coming out of a hole in the ceiling. I need a bucket fast. Unfortunatley, the only large bucket I have is the same one I was going to use for beer bottling. So I grab it, and put it under the waterfall of filthy water.

At this point, the kitchen is messed up, the laundry room is messed up, and my bottling bucket is full of nasty water....I'm also in a crappy mood so beer bottling night gets canceled.

:(

Worst dentist visit...EVERRRRRR

2008-03-18T16:13:00.001-07:00

First of all, my dentist is top-notch. He didn't make it the worst visit ever. It was just the nature of things.

I had an infected tooth...it was hurting. I let it go for about 7 days before I called the dentist. So by the time I got to him, it was pretty damn infected.

At this point, the goal is to 1. numb me up, 2. drill into the tooth 3. let the infection seep out, 4. fill it with medication and a temporary camp, 5. wait 10 days, then do a root canal.

Goals 1 and 2 are difficult to achieve because my infection is so bad, it counter-affects the numbing. I'm already difficult to numb so he is injecting me with everything he's got. He starts to drill and he opens up a teeny hole in my tooth.....I almost lunge out of the chair in excruciating pain. He immediately stops, realizing I need more numbing.

Since my infection is battling the numbing he decides NOT to do the traditional numbing shot and opts for the "pulpal injection" where he sticks a needle right through my half-numbed tooth to get more pain killer in it. This hurts like a SONOFABITCH. But he ends up getting a few precious seconds of numbing....enough to drill 10 more seconds before I scream.

This pattern goes on about 4-5 more times. At this point, I am sweating bullets and on the edge of passing out...yes, it was THAT bad.

Finally, the hole in my tooth is big enough so he can ram metal cone-shaped things down the roots of my tooth...about 3/4 inch deep. Ahhhh yeaaaaaah. Let me tell you how good that felt. Wait, there's no f*cking way I'm telling you how that felt. You don't wanna know.

After getting my 3 canals cleaned out, he announces I'm done...no more pain, just put in some medication and seal it up.

But NOOOOo.......one more look through his microscope reveals that I have a FOURTH canal, which apparently is extremely rare. So...I get the metal cone-shaped probe of death stuck down my goddam root canal AGAIN.

Finally 2 1/2 hours later, it's over.........it's over for 10 days when I have to go back and get a root canal done. Isn't that GREAT?!! So not only do I get to sit in a chair for THREE hours and do alot of this stuff again, I also get to pay $1100 for it, only a third of which will be covered by dental insurance.

Kids, take care of your teeth. Seriously.

Unplugged

2008-03-16T20:52:00.001-07:00

I had an epiphany. I realized I'm paying $100 a month for cable TV and I really don't watch it...at least not enouch to warrant $100 a month! The only time I watch TV is when I'm going to bed and I usually watch silly programs that my DVD recorded.

So I unplugged both of my cable boxes and returned them to Comcast. I opted to get the absolute minimum cable package for $15/month.

Beer Blog 03-12-08

2008-03-13T19:02:00.001-07:00

We have fermentation, people!!! I got home from work today to find my airlock bubbling up a storm; about one bubble every 2 seconds. Awesome!!!!

The fermentation will continue for a few more days, then we'll take a gravity reading, wait 3 more days, take another gravity reading...then make our next move based on those readings.

Beer Blog 03-11-08

2008-03-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

At 10:20pm, my first batch of beer was put in a warm dark closet for fermentation, but it wasn't without its mishaps....or maybe mishap.

The key to starting the process is to steep the grains at 150 degrees for 45 minutes....right as my water was getting warm, my digital thermometer malfunctioned. At room temperature, my thermometer told me the water was 240 degrees....um yeah.

So I eye-balled it....meanwhile Kim was nice enough to stop at Marc/Monique's to get me their digital thermometer. By the time she showed up, I'd been steeping for 45 minutes and the temperature was 185...ehh...screw it!! It's just the flavoring part of the process.

Everything else went off without much of a hitch. Learned a few 'best practices' along the way.

First gravity reading was 1.042 at 82 degrees (yes, it should've been cooler, I know). Yeast probably went in around 75 degrees.

Cheerio!

Beer Blog 03-11-08

2008-03-11T09:29:00.001-07:00

Okay, I've got the kettle/water boiling thing figured out. I was worried my stove wouldn't heat up 3 gallons of water because the kettle is much larger than the burner, but that looks okay. And I've also determined how to maintain temps of 150 for steeping the grains and a temp of 201 for a slow rolling boil while cooking the wort.

I'm also trying to find a place in my house that maintains a temp of 60-70 degrees since that's the optimal fermentation range. My root cellar is about 48. The storage area outside my room is 58. Looks like I'll definitely be doing this somewhere upstairs.

Current goal is to brew tomorrow night night (Wednesday).

Trav

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And so it begins.....

2008-03-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

After two years of mulling it over, I've decided to try my hand at brewing beer. I've been researching things pretty well over the last two weeks and today, I headed down to the Beer Nut and I purchased myself the Complete Brewer's Kit which comes complete with the following:

A 6.5 gallon Fermenter with lid.
A 5 gallon Priming/Bottling bucket with bottling spigot.
An Airlock.
A Syphon & Bottling setup.
A Hydrometer and Tube.
A Bottle Brush.
A Twin Lever Bottle Capper.
A Strip Thermometer.
An 8 oz. Package of Sanitizer.
Fermtech Auto Siphon
Homebrewing Instructional DVD
A 5 gallon Glass Carboy.
An Additional Airlock and Rubber Stopper.
A Fermometer strip thermometer.
A Carboy Brush.
A Carboy Handle.
A 20 Quart Brew Kettle.
Two Cases of Bottles (22 ounce).
Brewing Book, "The New Complete Joy of Homebrewing."

And of course, I purchased a recipe kit...Amber Ale!

Up above you can see a picture of what it all looks like....my co-brewer Sylvester can also be seen surveying the project.

Things Rick Asltey would never do.....

2008-02-28T12:19:00.000-08:00

Saw this today. Just had to post it.

My lunch with Harrison Ford

2008-02-19T12:30:00.001-08:00

I was in Jackson Wyoming this weekend with some friends. We decided to have lunch at this little out-of-the-way Mexican restaurant.

Shortly after we started eating, Harrison Ford popped in with two of his buddies. I got a blurry cellphone pic of it...Harrison is the dude in the light blue long-sleeved button down shirt.

In case you didn't know, Harrison Ford lives in Jackson with his wife, Calista Flockhart. We did not see Calista.

Gross.....more gross.

2008-02-01T15:15:00.001-08:00

Gross - I'm getting ready for bed and I notice that Sylvester (my cat) has barfed on the other side of the bed. I really don't want to clean it up because I'm tired and because the barf is still a little damp....and anyone owns a cat knows you should wait for the barf to dry up. then it usually cleans up pretty easy.

MORE gross - I wake up in the middle of the night and Sylvester is...."cleaning" up his mess.

:)

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Funny of the day....

2008-01-18T08:45:00.001-08:00

I ordered a high-tech litter box for Sylvester. Got it from Amazon.com. Not one of thsoe expensive electric ones, but...well, it's hard to define. Anyway, that's not important.

It was supposed to arrive yesterday and it didn't. So I got on-line to track it at UPS.com. The first thing I see is "Delivery Exception - see below for details". Oh dear lord, what the hell happened?

I look below and in all capital letters is this notice: "THE PACKAGE IS DELAYED DUE TO A TRAIN DERAILMENT". A train derailment? Ya have to appreciate UPS' honesty I guess. They could've said "Delayed due to transportation difficulties", but no, they just say it like it is.

The good news is that the train derailment must have been pretty minor because as of this moment, my litter box is "Out for delivery".

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My weekend: Crack heads, Doors and Ribs

2008-01-07T09:23:00.001-08:00

Been awhile since I blogged so I'll just write about some events from the weekend...

Crackheads....(or perhaps Chadheads)

Alot of you heard about the crack heads 2 houses down from me. Well, I spoke with Russ (who lives 4 houses down from me and always knows what's goin down) and he gave me the whole scooop....the owner of the crack house had rented it out to some woman...for whatever reason, the woman ended up in prison. So her crackhead friends (knowing she was in prison) just took up residence in her house and started squatting. Well, one night a neighbor saw people over there and called the police. The police showed up and one crackhead got in his car and took off while officers had guns pulled demanding that he stop. 2 other crackheads in the house were arrested for trespassing.

Anyway, the landlord terminated the lease, kicked everyone out, changed the locks, etc.. so they should be gone. Here's where it gets scary. The owner of the house has now rented it out to his buddy who's in a band with him. The first 3 nights he's there, scary people keep showing up at the house asking for "Chad". On the third night, he was visited by 2 very large Tongans who muscled their way in the house screaming "Where the fuck is Chad?!! You tell me where Chad is NOW!!!". After several minutes, they realize that this new person has no idea who Chad is and they leave. At this point the new occupant of the house quickly loads all of his crap into a U-Haul and leaves. So if you need a place to live and don't mind people showing up in the middle of the night asking for Chad, then I know just the place for you.

Doors....(the money pit)

I spent $1400 at Lowe's this weekend on new exterior doors for my house. Doors are expensive!! Unfortunately, I can't just buy the doors off the shelf. Because my house is so old, most of the doors are not standard. This requires me to special order the doors and have them custom "cut" to fit in the height. And of course, I got new handles/deadbolts for all 4 doors in my house. Those doors better look DAMN good.

Ribs....(the pork trifecta)

Oh man, did I tell you about the ribs I made last night? Slow cooking ribs in the oven is a great way to cook ribs, come to find out. And I made this great homemade sauce with molasses, brown sugar, worcestire, cider vinegar, garlic, ketchup and even little bacon bits! And I made cheesy, garlic mashed potatoes (also with bacon bits). So there ya have the trifecta...pork ribs, bacon-infused BBQ sauce, and bacon-infused mashed potatoes. SO good.

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True meaning of Christmas....

2007-12-26T16:31:00.001-08:00

Let us not forget that the true meaning of Christmas is NOT about the birth of <insert popular deity figure>. Maybe it was in the past, but that's no longer case.

From now on, the true meaning of Christmas is the anniversary of James Brown's death.

RIP, Soul Brother #1

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I knew it. I just knew it.....

2007-12-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

I've always had a lingering suspicion that something "happened" to my 2001 Nissan Pathfinder before I purchased it (in 2004). The hood would never securely close. Sensors that usually last a lifetime would stop working after a year. The keyless entry no longer works. The electric seat controls would randomly cut out, car never seems quite in alignment, etc..

Well this morning, I decided to spend $24.95 and get a Carfax report on my car. Sure enough...it was in a wreck in 2003 and was inspected/repaired for front-end damage. Six months later, it was sold at auction and classified as a "fleet vehicle". So not only was my car beat the shit out of as a fleet vehicle, it was also in a wreck at some point.

Kids, let this be a lesson...always pull a Carfax report BEFORE buying a car, not 3 years later when you have a suspicion.

On another topic, anyone want to buy a mint condition 2001 Nissan Pathfinder? It runs great! Never been a wreck! Honest!!!!

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Presents opening children.....

2007-12-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas.....

Quick! Everyone get it on!

2007-12-18T12:53:00.001-08:00

Believe it or not, Fox News as actually published a story that I support!!!

A Dozen Reasons Why You Should Have Sex Tonight

Link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,317189,00.html

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Jetta woman, meet instant karma.

2007-12-18T11:19:00.001-08:00

This morning on my way to work, I was cut off by this woman in a Jetta. She swerved in front of me in order to make a light that had just turned yellow. And because she swerved in front of me, I had to brake and I missed the light! Meanwhile, she just sped on through the yellow/red light. How DARE she? What makes her better than everyone else that she can just cut in front of people like that? I was a little pissed.

But.......unbeknownst to me and this rude woman, there was a cop behind us. He fired up his lights, ran through the redlight and sped up Parley's Way after the rude driver!

A minute later when I finally passed the cop, he had pulled over the Jetta...ticket book in one hand and the other hand gesturing back to the intersection as if to say "What the f**k is yout problem?!!!"

That was a great way to start my day!! Cops are cool.

Trav

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Kitty Wigs

2007-12-13T15:21:00.001-08:00

Okay, next time you need a gift for your cat or next time you're completely bored and need a chuckle, head over to http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html

I can't stop giggling.

OMG!! I got Chardonnay on my Escalade!!!

2007-12-05T10:59:00.001-08:00

In the parking lot of the Park City liquor store yesterday, I observed a woman in a fur coat attempting to put 2 large bags full of alcohol in the back of her Cadillac Escalade. While doing so, the bag ripped and about 5-6 bottles of various alcohol products crashed on to the asphalt, spilling everywhere.

Is it wrong that I chuckled and kept walking?

Kids have it so easy these days....

2007-11-29T15:34:00.001-08:00

My stepdad sent this to me in an email. I've received other "When I was a kid..." type of emails, but this one struck me particularly funny..especially the reference to old video games: "Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!"

begin

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ....uphill BOTH ways yadda, yadda, yadda! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ..with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the chanel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.

Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire .... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Oh yea, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

Thanksgiving in Jackson

2007-11-26T11:03:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving weekend - Diary from Jackson:

It all starts at WEDNESDAY 2PM...I hit the road with Marc, Monique and Andy (the dog). We made the obligatory stop at Evanston at Wendy's of course. And it was damn tasty. We arrive around 6:30pm and meet up with Erik and Stephanie....at which point, we immediately head to the Smith's and the liquor store where (as usual) we buy WAY more food and alcohol than we need. Personally, I got a bottle of Jagermeister, bottle of Kahlua, bottle of Jim Beam, bottle of Tuaca, 2 bottles of champagne, and a12-pack of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale The remainder of the evening is spent drinking, listening to music, and eating pizza (purchased at Smith's). And of course, there was dominoes, cards, movies, and music...something that occurred every evening.

On a sidenote, I can I just say how LAME Utah's liquor laws are? In Wyoming, Smith's has their own liquor stores attached to their food stores. I can get humongous discounts on Jagermeister using my Fresh Values card. They even have self-serve growlers you can fill up all by yourself! Good lord.

THURSDAY- in the morning, we break into one of the 8 or so bottles of champagne that we bought and begin drinking mimosas...and for the record, this is how EVERY morning started. Oh and every morning also started with bacon and some sort of eggs. Anyway, Stephanie got to work on her pies, Marc got to work on the turkey, Monique got to work on her potatoes and I got to work on my roasted veggies and cornbread stuffing. So we basically spent the entire day drinking, watching football, and working on Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, and there was another trip to the liquor store for more champagne....I bought the last 6 bottles of Cook's Brut that were on the shelf. After dinner, we went for a short stroll around the neighborhood.

Highlight of the day - watching ducks land on a frozen pond.....just think about it.

Highlight of the evening - Erik and Stephanie announced their engagement!!! Woohooooo!!!

FRIDAY...um...here's where my brain cells start fading a little...um, mimosas, bacon, eggs..oh yeah, we actually left the house for a drive! We headed up into an area known as Gros Ventres where we immediately come across a humongous herd of buffalo....there was probably close to 300 or so. On our way up, we also passed the elk refuge (the world's largest apparently) and probably spotted over 500 of those. On top of a small mountain, we parked the car, enjoyed the view, soaked up the sun and drank more mimosas. We had a late lunch/early dinner at Snake River Brewing Company..happy hour nachos and $1 off all pints. Woohoo!!

Highlight of the day - watching a bald eagle in a tree in our backyard eating something (fish or critter). It was freakin' awesome.

SATURDAY...we left the house again! This time, we headed into Teton Village/Jackson Hole which was very reminiscent of Park City...sunny and NO snow. We did have fun playing the fake snow that was pouring down on us from a "snow machine". We ran into a family up there who was sledding on the fake snow and of course, Monique managed to take a run herself. Her butt was wet for the rest of the day (which she reminded us of, every 30 minutes). For lunch, we headed to Bubba's BBQ. Mighty mighty fine food. Back at the house, we got our fill of college football and turkey enchiladas for dinner...DEEEELICIOUS. Monique is the master, indeed.

Saturday evening was the big Battlestar Galactica special on TV. So Erik, Stephanie and I sat in the kitchen while Marc/Monique glued themselves to the TV. Fortunately, Erik, Stephanie and I kept ourselves entertained at Marc/Monique's expense by making fun of the show they were watching....as you know, the head dude is Edward James Olmos who I mostly know as the police captain on Miami Vice....I kept doing imitations of him saying "We need to get Crockett and Tubbs in here to deal with these cylons". ALSO...the main sponsor of this 'special' was Quizno's and I kept wondering they didn't do any clever product placements which lead me to my next Edward James Olmos imitation...."We've got to get everyone of our ships out there to fight off the cylon attack...but first, I need to finish this delicious toasted classic sub from Quizno's". For whatever reason, this kept me occupied and laughing hysterically......but I guess you had to be there.

SUNDAY...ahh, the last day. We spent our time washing sheets and towels, cleaned the kitchen, took out the trash and recycling....and of course, we hit the Burger King in Afton WY on our way out of town....it was an uneventful departure.

Special thanks for Marc/Monique for inviting me and thanks to Marc's dad for letting us hang at his "summer home".

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Desperate for snow....

2007-11-15T07:46:00.001-08:00

It's interesting working Park City right now. I have to drive up here every morning around 7:30am and it's crazy to see that EVERYbody is blowin' snow, i.e. creating artificial snow.

The sledding hill across from Jeremy Ranch is getting ready for sledders. The Olympic Park is even blowing snow on the jumps. The Canyons resort is blowing snow, Park City resort is blowin' snow...and I can even see snow blowin' in the distance at Deer Valley.

And they don't just blow it on to the ground..they shoot this mist of water up in to the air which freezes then falls down just like snow...so I get to see about 20 little mini-snowstorms on my way to work everyday. If you didn't realize they were using machines to create snow, you would think that the mountains just artifically grew its own snow on the ski slopes...as if it knows that it's the time of year to start "blooming". It's interesting.

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Rant - Egg Nog

2007-10-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

I was at Albertson's tonight and saw egg nog for the first time this season. It's time to let the world know how I feel about this.

EGG NOG IS WRONG.

It is gross, horrible, putrid stuff. There's only one thing in this world worse than egg nog and that's country music.

Torturing Al Qaeda prisoners is getting us NOwhere. Make them drink egg nog AND listen to Keith Jackson and I guarantee you they'll give up every secret including the location of Osama Bin Laden.

Window of opportunity

2007-10-30T19:03:00.001-07:00

Last winter, I kept a temperature gauge in my bedroom to see how cold it would get. In the coldest of nights, it registered 52 degrees. I made a decision that I would get new windows in my house this year.....well I waited a little too long, but I finally called a guy over (a referral from Brian/Nicole) and he gave me an estimate. The estimate was LOWER than the magic number I had in my head. So.....one hour ago, I signed a contract!!

14 brand new double-hung windows! Rated #2 by Consumer Reports...and if you know me well, you know what a Consumer Reports slut I am. They should be installed by mid December.

Finally, windows that I can easily wash..they tilt out! I can wash the inside and outside...from the INSIDE!! Get it? Finally, I'll have basement windows that open and shut, a feature I've never had in this house since I bought it. Finally, noise abatement from the busy and noisy traffic on 2000 E. Finally, I can go to bed without having to wear heavy duty fleece PJ's, thermal socks, wool hat, and a goddam SWEATER!!! Maybe now, my cat won't wake me up at 3am trying to burrow under the covers with me.

Waaahooo!!!! It's the best $6,200 I ever spent...and I haven't even spent it yet..that's how stoked I am.

Victory over mice - counter attack by the rats!!!

2007-10-29T15:03:00.001-07:00

So I caught the little critter that was running around the sub-floor of my house. He got away with the bacon, but string cheese nailed him. Sorry, animal lovers but he had to go.

But now....I come home the other day to find 3 mounds of dirt in my front yard...the damn RAT is back!!! He tunnels through my yard like a mole. Based on my research, it's a Norwegian rat. I had the same situation happen a few years ago and the "problem" went away after dropping some poison into some of the holes that were dug.

For the time being, I've plugged up the holes and spread out the dirt so that the neighbors don't notice my little "infestation". If I see new mounds, I'm pulling out the heavy artillery.

More to come...

Mice-1 Travis-0

2007-10-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

It happens every fall...somehow, Mice get into the sub-floor of my house. I lay a few traps under my kitchen sink (where there's an opening to the subfloor) and I usually get 3-5 of them and the problem goes away for the winter.

A few days ago, I heard the furst scurry of little feet running through the sub-floor so I picked up some mouse traps last night. I used what I thought was the perfect bait....left over cooked bacon...all fatty and smelly. I put down 2 traps and went to bed.

This morning I woke up and raced upstairs and found out that bacon was the PERFECT bait...the little shit ate it off of BOTH traps without triggering them. ARRGGHH!!!

I reset the traps using string cheese. Why string cheese? I can actually cram string cheese into the little trigger thing so the trap is more likely to go off.

More to come on this................

Days 6-7

2007-10-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

Day 6 - Hmm...that was Thursday I think. Another day of training and then I was off to Bodies: the Exhibition. Very fascinating stuff. Real bodies, real people, real brains, real organs. If you ever get a chance to see it, GO. The most interesting part of the exhibit was the "Fetal Gallery" where they have displays of "real" fetuses in various stages of development from 12 days to 24 weeks..they're all encased in this liquid-filled vessels and lit from below. The lighting really shows off the deveopment of the specimens. It was very cool.

Day 7 - Another long day of training and I was ready to just hang out at the hotel and rest...which I did. I did venture over to Logan Inn for an AWESOME steak and a couple of really good local microbrews. SOOO good.

Day 8 - The last day...got up, requested late check out, and headed to the National Archives. I'm sorry but i"m not into that stuff...I was in/out in 45 minutes. I then toured the gardens across the street which was rather cool.

My big goal was to see the International Spy Museum but apparently this place is a BFD...you have to purchase tickets to get in at particular time frames...the only time frame available was 1pm which was too late for me. Bummer. I walked back to the hotel, took a shower and now I'm sitting in the hotel bar having a beer waiting for the Super Shuttle.

My final positive note....I got upgraded to First Class on my flight home. WOOOOHOO!!

Photos to come, stand by.

DC Day 4-5, Zootacular Motorcades!!

2007-10-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

Day 4 - training got done early!! I quickly put together a plan to go to the National Zoo...it took me about 10 minutes to figure out which Metro station I needed to be at, how much it would cost, which station to get off at, and how to walk to the zoo from there. 30 minutes and $1.35 later, I was taking pictures of pandas, baby!!!

I quickly visited all of the "buildings" since they closed at 6pm...once I saw the building exhibits, I went around again and visted the outdoor visits. By the time I was done, I was DONE...sweaty, tired, sore, but accomplished!!

I caught the Metro back to Dupont Circle (a very hip area) and was home shortly. Not in the mood to walk much, I headed back to Thai Tanic and had chicken Panang! Mmmmm, delicious.

Day 5 - another typical morning...walk to Starbucks, get a muffin, head to training....I was hanging out in the training with some other students until...we heard siren, then another, then another. One student said "Wow, something bad must've happened". I immediately said "I bet it's a motorcade!". We jumped to the window and sure enough, it was a HUUUGE parade..20 motorcycle cops, Black Suburbans galore, 3 huge limos, black Vans, some bomb squad dudes, and an ambulance....obviously the Pres or VP driving by. Very exciting despite the occupants.

For the rest of the day I found myself turning my head every time I heard any kind of siren. Sure enough, back in my hotel room, I hear a siren and chuckle at my "motorcade paranoia", but whadaya freakin' know...I heard MORE sirens, I stuck my head out the window and saw motorcycle cops...I grabbed my camera and ran out to my balcony top see another motorcade flyin' by. Although this one was pretty minor...only 6-8 motorcycles, 2 limos, and one support vehicle. Must've been the president's chef or something.

Tonight for dinner, it was back to Whole Foods for salad bar and a cup of seafood gumbo...I needed to take it easy after the lunch I had. I feel too guilty to discuss what I ate for lunch. My mother would kill me.

Tomorrow's after-class plan..Bodies, The Exhibit.

DC Day 2-3

2007-10-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a long day.....

Caught the #52 bus down to the Washington Monument...a really super duper tall stack of bricks. It was cool

...then I walked to the WWII memorial. I couldn't understand why there were so many Japanese people there scruitnizing it, but then my high school history class came back and I had a "Ohhhhhhhh, that's riiiight" moment.

...then I walked to the Lincoln Memorial. As he sits in his giant chair overlooking the reflecting pool, I'm wondering what he's thinking..."For God's sake, will somebody clean out this damn pool..it's full of duck shit!!" It seriously was.

...then I walked to the Vietnam Memorial. It's a difficult place to visit. So many people should not have died in that war.

....then I walked ALL the way to the Museum of Natural History. I'd really like to visit this place with a fundamentalist christian sometime because this museum makes it VERY clear that we came from monkeys and life started millions and millions of years ago, which I believe in as well. Anyway, I'd LOVE to see the Adam/Eve believers check this place out! Hi-larious!

....then I was off to the #1 destination of the day, the Air and Space Museum. This place was AWESOME. I was there for 3 hours and I quickly walked through each display. My visit also included a 45-minute Imax film, very cool. Back to my Natural History Museum comments, there's a great display here which discusses the scientific origins of our solar system....it came from a big bang a long...REEEEALLY long time ago. By the way, the Air/Space Museum contains the biggest McDonald's in the world...at least the biggest I've ever seen. It's quite impressive.

....I then walked "across the street" over to the National Art Gallery. I'm not into art, but when you're standing in front of a painting that's 600 years old, it's really impresssive. Not just because it's 600 years old, but you also think about the artist and how things were viewed, how people dressed, the way they acted. It really makes you think.

....okay, museum tours over...I walked over to the Verizon Center to watch the Washington Capitols play the Ottawa Senators...that's hockey (pronounced hock-ee) for those of you not familiar with those teams. I had 4th row seats in the corner where the Caps attack twice. I had a great time, drank WAY too much beer and also had a cocktail..yes, they served cocktails here!! OH, I also caught a t-shirt during the t-shirt throwing portion of the game! Wahoo, I'm a tourist!! After the game, I actually walked a couple of miles back to my hotel even though I had planned on getting a cab. Took me 24 hours to get over the soreness in my legs.

Okay on today, Day 3....got up, walked to work (training) and sat in class for 8 hours. After class, I kept it low key...walked over to Whole Foods for a nice salad and some chicken. Tomorrow night, I'm thinking about dinner at Georgia Brown's....authentic southern food. I'm torn between Buttermilk fried chicken and south carolina gumbo...Oh, the fried catfish is calling my name too.

Cheers!
Trav

DC Day 1

2007-09-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

So I've been sent to Washington DC for training. I decided to come in on a Saturday and leave on a Saturday so I could fit in some touristy time.

The day started at 7am in da' SLC so I could catch a 10am flight which was delayed until 11:15am. No biggie...gave me time to go chat with my buddy Shari who works for Delta in the C gates. After a lovely flight in my spacious emergency exit row, I arrived in my hotel at 6:30pm wondering what kind of room I'd be stuck in for the next seven days..BAM, I get upgraded to a suite...corner room on the 5th floor overlooking the intersection of 15th and Rhode Island Ave. I got two bathrooms, two TV's, and a little living room to host my cocktail parties in...things are off to a good start. Based on the size of my room plus the wrap-around balcony I've got, I could invite about 40 people over and party comfortably.

On the shuttle ride over, we passed several civil war monuments...each is a bronze statue of a general sitting on a horse. According to the cab driver, the position of the horse has historical significance. If the horse has both feet in the air, the general died in battle. If the horse has one foot in the air, the general was wounded in battle. If the horse has all feet on the ground, the general survived the war with no serious injuries other than an infected hangnail or some sort of foot rot. Breaking news......I actually researched this....turns out it's not accurate. Check it out.

Aaaaaaaaanyway, after I get checked in, evening is starting so I just decided to go roaming around to get a feel for my 'hood. I'm dreading the thought of eating at Holiday Inn for a week so I've got my eye out for food...I'll definitely be eating at "Thai Tanic" one night. The name attracts me alone, but I also so alot of people in there...I'll take that as a good sign. But the ultimate find...just a one-minute walk from my hotel...Whole Foods Market! Woohoo!!! This place rocks! Huge salad bar, hot food buffet, sushi bar (made-to-order), and a gigantic selection of craft beers. I picked up a 6-pack of America's Original Pumpkin Ale made by Buffalo Bill's Brewery...not too shabby.

Back at the hotel, I decide to hit their buffett because 1. I need to give them a try once and 2. it was Prime Rib, hello!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it sucked. So lesson learned. Hellooooo Thai Tanic and Whole Foods Market!

Tomorrow's plan....visit the Air and Space Museum, Art Museum, and......MY FIRST NHL HOCKEY GAME!!

Cheers!